1/17/2024 0 Comments Friendly chit chatThat will take away all of the positive effects gained. Avoid getting into any type of corrective or disciplinary conversation during Chit-Chat.It’s not really hard to engage in “Chit-Chat,” but there are some basic rules that come in handy. Your child will also experience more calmness and will feel greater emotional security. Instead of your relationship getting hijacked by constant conflicts and power struggles, you will get more cooperation. It creates intimacy.Ī real benefit is that when you create an intimate and connected relationship with your child, you will have a much easier time with behavior issues. This is a special kind of connection, because it is given out of love without anything required in return.įor your child, Chit-Chat provides a feeling of unconditional love, being accepted, and being valued. When you allow chatter, and you maintain a level of interest and engagement that is felt, your child will feel connected to you. The point is that it gives him pleasure to tell me about it, and it is a connective experience for both of us. I do have some interest in this subject, but not nearly as much as he does. My husband likes to read football stats to me. Have you ever had someone really listen to you talk about something that is of interest or importance to you, even if it’s not of great interest to them? How about talking about your kids to people who don’t have kids? Or discussing something that happened at your job? You are simply reflecting things back here and there, or asking a question that is non-intrusive. This does not require a lot of talking on your part. You show that by actually hearing what is said and asking for clarification along the way, or commenting on the subject, or reflecting back your child’s feelings about the subject. You may not be all that interested in the subject, but you can be interested in the fact that your child is enjoying being heard, and enjoying explaining to you or chattering to you about a subject that is of great interest to him. It requires that you allow your child or teen to chatter to you, while you ask enough questions, or make enough comments to let her know you are listening and are interested. How do you do it?Ĭhit-Chat is really fairly simple. These conversations are usually one-sided, and are often difficult to attend to, especially when you’re busy or have a list of things you need to do.Įven so, these conversations are as important as any you will have with your kids from the time they can talk until they’re adults and after.Ĭhit-Chat is a conversation that has no particular goal other than to talk and be heard. You get a long drawn out review of all of the baseball cards in your son’s current collection.Your middle schooler animatedly relates a “he said, she said” conversation that took place at school, with all the attending dramatics.Your son gives you a blow-by-blow description of the video game he’s playing.
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